careena is here

everyday it seems im here...time flies...its almost the end of the sem..a new start..finals coming...but still im blur...im still dreaming rite now...writing here...doin what..what im thinkin is actually what im writing...whining will make you better..crying will make you better...or maybe a smile will make u better....there is an idiom tat goes...a smile will definitely better a cry...y not you choose to smile....whenever you want to do..you expect urself to do the best, top of the world...can I be the top of the world.???but how?top of everything....tell you what?beng soon's photo is on my desktop wallpaper...whenever i c him, feel sad, feel hurt..at the same time feel happy....dear dear ahh, do hope you will spend every minute with me,,,hugging me every nite, still remember we hugging each other to lalaland..tat land only belongs to us..dear dear I love you still...I miss you much still, but u hav forgotten me, have you?dear dear, tell you what?i do hope one day i can bump into you, seeing you will be the greatest gift eva...but i noe its God's arrangement, if He wants us to meet, definitely will but can I ask God..when???how many years to go??dear dear can i hug you?jz a hug tats more than enuf?but trust me Careena nvr give up..she still moving on ...i will study..i will do my best not try my best...nvr try but do it the best ..dear you too..ok...take more rest...I LOVE YOU...vvvv much..dear dear...missing you right now...wishing u merry merry xmas in adv...and happy new year...love you

careena's soul is not there...

to search ur inner self..will be v hard but once u had found it it will nvr be that hard anymore.....these few days duno y im v not myself...meaning your soul is not there, it was like struck by lightning, it has been pulled away by the swirl wind.the rushing wind seems like chasing after telling me to move but i wan totally glued on ground, dumbfounded with empty rooms in my head, the owner knocking on ur door without any further notice. the notice is a highlight to you telling you to move, telling you is time to make a move. it seems im still in my world of dream, dreams which are nasty and ludicrous. i have no idea what m i writing but in certain i noe hu mi n wat shud i do. I lack of motivation, the boost is not there anymore..listening to songs make you indulge more but at the same time it helps to keep awake ...Careena u shud wake up,,,set the alarm clock , wake u up mentally....thinkin bk the case between mee fon and ah tat, i suddenly think of me n beng. dear ahh, i noe i shud give up you, letting you go is letting my soul flies without comin back. if i were to continue to think of this, i wil nvr recover from the hurts.i will continue to walk deeper till one day, i will get myself even hurt than b4. i noe how to consult ppl but me myself, i hav no idea. as whta people say, its easy to heal others but not to urself..i almost dead....help me...im crying for help.,..thinkin of him is like killing my soul, soulless human being....hanging urself under the torture of hell...