yes..its rite

m i a diplomatic person?m i look diplomatic?i duno..im jz an ordinary person...ya simple thinkin....its true..mellowin down myself to b as normal as possible...how easy to put in words?anyway in these few days...suddenly sumthin jz came into my mind...if u hav gud excellent results..u can really gain a chance to hav wat u wan to obtain..wat u yearn to obtain all these while....I WAN TO B A POLITICIAN ONE DAY...I MUST STUDY TO THE VVVVVVVVVVV BEST...TO GAIN WAT I WAN....CAREENA YEOH MUST ACHIEVE HER VISION N GOAL...NO MATTER HOW STORMY THE WEATHER IS...SHE WILL GRIN N BEAR IT TILL THE END...she wont flinch nor hide...she will stand up n go thru all odds....im not a weaker nor a loser but im the victor....i hav the strength tat GOD has given to me......CAREENA u mz go for wat u want...go n get it by ur own hands....speak wif wisdom n faith n u shall win the race..

finished....say bye..

bye to emcees....yea finally i hv accomplished my role s an emcee...relax yeah!2day's career talk was indeed a great talk ...though its kinda boring but was an interesting tok by both proficient speakers..one of dem is the Managing Director from Carlsberg in China...dun eva belittle him..he manages to handle 9000 ppl.....n he has 19 plants...the other speaker is the head of finance n business dep....both of their speeches did impress me...mayb due to their achievements n visions....my career?of cz in me i hv my plans for future....but things seem to b unpredictable....its like the breaking news..unanticipated incidents might jz burst out infront of us...all we can do now is to prepare ourselves wif more knowledge n informations...these r the things which can guarantee me in future...ya....in dis modern epoch..we ladies no longer b discriminated by men we shld gain respect from others..the men should respect us the LADIES...the government shld create a platform for women to perform in the upcomin events n developments in the country....esp in the political n economical fields...we r also the pillar for the country..let the world hear our voices...LET THE WORLD SINGS OUR SONG...LET WE THE WOMEN EMBRACE THE SAME THINKIN N CONCEPT..WORK TOGETHER AS ONE BODY N STRENGTH..TO REACH OUT TO THE SOCIETY,,...WE CAN DO IT!dis is my dream..my vision to b a politician in future...the road might b tough but i love challenges....I believe God will lead me the way .....LADIES N GENTLEMEN,the grassroots future is in our hands...this task is not as simple as flipping a burger ....is beyond ur imagination...save our country...

careena's greatest blog....

greatest?wau...sounds bit great ya...anyway jz normal piece of blog..althou these few days nothin big happenings ...but still feel like blogging...sharing my walks of life...my path ...sumtimes in life,we r playing the perfectionist role ...we want to b perfect but how r we to achieve tat flawless results?to b perfect is easy in words but in actionwise is kinda difficult...but wen we really achieve tat v level..i believe its a indeed the greatest compliment eva...to be perfect or to b great in everything we do...we mz first achieve wat we ourselves wanted to achieve..humanbeings love to compete wif one another .....as the competition arises...our level of perfection seems to decrease ..this might sound a bit perplexing but me myself fathom...yeah!for instance,my emcee partner JASON...he told me he wanted the emcee role to b perfect...of cz me myself wanted to b perfect as well...but first n foremost we ourselves hav to first ask ourselves...did we put in our greatest effort?if yes..only we demand the word PERFECT...if we ourselves havent reached tat v point...how can we aim to b perfect?JAson HE IS pretty nervous durin his turn to speak..den how he himself aim to b perfect?if he is steady enuf only he has the right to aim for perfection...or else pls belt up..I really aspire to hold a position in UTAR...at least i hav sum contributions to my own UNI....dis noon...after the end of the entire event...Alice n Hui Ying thanked me for helpin dem lots...actually i was jz playin a minor role..jz an emcee....throwing a few words..tats all..but im happy ...y?cz i have done my best in playing tat minor role...THE EMCEE...wateva we do....we must do it extraordinarily well....only we proceed to the level of being PERFECT....it will b great den!different ppl hav their own level of perfection...depend on individuals....i do hope wateva i do...i do it to the best for myself..not for anybody.....ME N ME ALONE...

emceessss

im the emcee for the mass call formal function....continuously for four days ahh...yesterday it was quite fun though it was pretty lethargic...everyone kip on praising my partner JASON handsome...oooh...to me he is jz an ordinary guy...the way he speaks din really impressed me...anyway happy to noe all of dem...tomorrow is my last day emceeing...hahahha..happy?NOPE..but tired...but these previous day i did enjoy my days in kampar...i hav a new friend his name call DOMINANCE..wau such a long cute name...he looks cute too...yeeling will b leaving kampar to PJ 2mrw..ya mis her but duno how to express in words..saying HEY GAL I MIS U...ya....miz her laughter n her noti noti noise ...contaminated the entire apartment..but without her voice...the house drown into the tranquil nite.......REST IN PEACE...RIP...but i believe all of us can accustom to it...hope so...I FINALLY OBTAINED MY FINAL results....i scored 3.8 for my CGPA...Thanks GOD for HIS strength for me...i can TELL U..without HIM...i would hav dead......i wont b tough to go thru the deepest sea n climb the highest mountain,,.....TX GOD....I will tell myself i will maintain it ...i have to work even smarter n harder in order to get better results.....CAREENA U MZ DO IT...only studies can uphold ur future.tats all lu...

normal usual dayssss

suddenly Ms Chan sent me email sayin tat the latest update regarding the emcee rehearsal defer to wed..haih...but i hav decided to go bk 2day....jz thinkin y m i still staying at home?i prefer bk to kampar at least i can hv my own privacy...jz to stay in my own room...i mis my baby bolster lehh....huggin it like huggin my darling hahah..weird rite...duno y wen im huggin it i feel the warmth in me...no worries...no distractions....my baby bolster is like my company...it accompanies me thru times of trouble n happiness....remember wen i was small...i used to hug it wen i was crying...TILL NOW STILL THE SAME...its there alwiz...ya..unlike the humanbeings...they cast me aside...they toy me around ...y not i mis my baby bolster rather than missin the unrelevant stuff which pestering me lots.....wat surprised me is...im gona brin bk the photos which i hv taken wif him....the gud memories will b carved in my heart forever....our hearts no longer there for each other.we r no longer feel each others touch...its like water vapour evaporate into the air.....untouchable feelings...my love for him will no longer exist so does him...his love for me no longer exist too...we r finished...y time seems to past so swiftly?y not jz pause for a while...let us b there jz for tat v moment...remembered durin last year's new year eve...we see fireworks near greentown...DO U NOE TAT V MOMENT IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT WHICH I EVER HAD....AT NIGHT..we hug each other to lalaland.....n i did say...LOVE U VVVVV MUCH DEAR!HOW MUCH U LOVE ME?ANYWAY I DID LOVE HIM B4..at least i did love a person before....i stil keep those movie tickets which we both watched b4...hahha movies...yea mis the time wif him watchin movie....now all alone...ya..he is now watchin movie wif another girl..holdin her hands...touchin her lips...embracing her to his warm loving arms....telling her..BABE I LOVE U....ME?ahhahhah im jz a morone silly gurl hopin one day .....YA HOPE SHATTERED INTO PIECES..MY DREAMS VANISHED INTO THE AIR....ITS TIME to wake up...where is my alarm clock?

WORDS...

jz duno y my blog seems to b so unhapi all e time....DO U noe i was actually a v happy n cheerful gal wen i was a little kid...ya..but now no longer!there is no longer a smile on my face...my life gettin more perplexing..me myself dun even noe how to handle....jz go for it...my road ahead is tougher..i knew it..but wat to do?jz grin n bear it...b tenacious n continue....MY LIFE...HAIH...my life full of TWO COLOURS..BLACK N GREY.....hahaha nice cool colours rite..results cumin out dis wik lahh...nervous...but i did do my vvvvv best...ya i hav done my best!but me still scared...ya ahhahahahahaahaha!ya i love to LOL...LAUGH ....LAUGH...WATEVA u wan to do now....JZ DO IT...no regrets...U WAN TO laugh...jz laugh...U WAN TO cry...jz cry...JZ DO WAT U WANT MAN...DUN BOTHER WAT PPL THINK ABT U....SO DUN BLOCK MY WAY...I JZ DO WAT I WANT....i noe wat im doin....CAREENA NOES WAT SHE IS DOIN..TATS ALL

finally

2mrw i bk kampar lahh...hapi hapi..i hv gud nite sleep lu....jz now msn wif sis..she told me she saw him in pavillion....ENOUGH LAHH...HOW MANY TIMES I HEARD HIS NAME...i nid to let go this idiot...he is NO LONGER EXIST IN MY LIFE...MY life is jz...I WANT TO B HAPPY...I WANT..I WANT TO B CHEERFUL AHH....I WANT...ITS ENUF PAIN N SUFFER...IM SUFFOCATING IN PAIN.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?I CANT cry out loud..i cant tell ppl im sad...i cant tell my frenz im still holding him...gif me time lahh...im not an object....okok...!yo...he is no no no no no longer exist in MY LIFE.....U R OUT OF MY LIFE.....WAT BLOODLY SHIT U TOLD ME...LOVE ME?WATS LOVE?WATS MISS?OH TATS NOTHIN ANYMORE..........WATS DATING?HAHAAHAH COME ON....LOVE IS JZ U LOVE ME N I LOVE U... LOVE?IZIT TAT SIMPLE?WAU..U R TOO ADORABLE..WAKE UP MAN...there is NO LOVE IN DIS WORLD..LOVE IS JZ TEMPORARY,,...NO PERMANENT..Y LOVE?stop thinkin of guys lahh....stop thinkin of the person whom i crushed on....FINISHED!THEY dun even hv feelings towards me..wat for wasting my damn precious time thinkin of dem...they r useless...meaningless lahh..y not i play my own role.....study lahh....CAREENA U HAV TO STUDY TO GAIN WAT U WAN...ONLY EDUCATION CAN BRIN U TO GREATER HEIGHTS...I Sms him tot of calling him for movie...he said he nid to accompany his parents for dinner...ok fine..parents more important ..i understand...but pls dun tell me u will b by their side 4 the whole day rite?cant u jz cum out 4 a while?WATEVA LAHH...JZ XXXX lahh.....y nid to treat me like dis?Y EVERYTIME I TREAT PPL GUD..THEY TREAT ME BAD IN RETURN... YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?FREAK OUT LAHH...i GIF UP WIF ALL THESE STUPID STUFF.........SET ME FREE MANNNN

tired day

finally i got to c dis movie..NIGHT MUSUEM 2...wen i was in the cinema...suddenly he came into my mind...i think dis movie suits him..he might love this movie...hope so anyway none of my business!2day i called his house...he answered e ph,i was totally dumbfounded...jz duno how n wat to react...OH MY GOSH HE ANSWERED E PH..WAT M I GOIN TO DO?M I GOIN TO JZ SHUT DOWN LIKE DIS OR WAT?ok i got an answer i jz shut down e ph without saying a word..im not supposed to do dis i hav done nothin wrong...y i nid to b so scared?i jz wan to chat wif his mum..tats all nothin much..dis is the biggest dumb mistake which i hav made..jz duno y..dun feel like staying at home anymore esp nite time...dis is the time where i loneliness rejuvenated in me....things dont seem to go right....i hate this kind of feelings/......but s i blog..i will feel better....tats all 4 today....

today...

hah duno y today dun feel like msninnnnn...i saw him in msn...y is he there?y cant he jz disappeared?of cz ppl has the right to on9 rite...ya..wateva lahh...2day i passed by the hse which we usually stopped by.....i gave my first kiss to him..ya tat place...tat hse with lights on every nite..hah bright lights...of cz he has already 4gotten our sweet moments...he is now embracing new sweet memories..but me still holding back...my emotional fluctuates..or maybe i can say sumtimes i even my emotions drastically changed....is like the weather...sumtimes it does warm...sumtimes thunder storm....sucks man.,....2day my mum suddenly show me his photos ..the photos which we taken wen i was havin my 18th biday....wau...again i cried...y ahh...yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how many yssss i nid to say WHY?I WAS lookin at the photo...reminiscing the moments we hav been thru...but its all past...but i keep holding it...for wat?i duno....it seems im useless....do u noe how hard to jz let go?everyone is tellin me the same old bloodly thing...tellin me to let go...ya i fully fathom wat they said but it seems in vain...their words din strike me at all.....how many times they nid to tell me?he seems so cold-blooded to me n yet im thinkin of him...he has a gf....he has his loved one..n me?still in the middle of no where...crying....yelling for help....still groaning in pain...but hu noes?me myself noe....ppl noes...but wat can they do?they jz ignore me...bcz its been 1 year plus..im still holding this unrepairable relationship.....im not blind..im not dumb....im normal...y?can anyone tell me why?hhahaah NO ONE...i nid to protect myself...i nid to......i nid security....its me myself can gif myself the guarantee n security,,no one can eva gif me tat anymore...guys sucks,,,,........dating?LOVE?WAT IS LOVE?WAT IS A RELATIONSHIP?dun eva play wif fire....hhaahha..sorry i cant tik it...its painful...its extremely painful....its like ,millions of needles poking at the depth of ur heart...u call for help..u cry at the corner...n still u nid to wipe off ur tears.....stand up n live ur life...sumtimes we r in hard moments...we grumble...we complain.....we jz nid a listener to listen to us...tats all....we dun nid anyone to console us....but cant we jz pour our sadness n problems?OF CZ WE STILL NID TO MOVE ON...DOESNT MEAN WE DID NTH...if u hv a family...u still nid to work hard n support ur family..if u r single..u still nid to work to earn a living..if u r a student u still nid to pick up the book n read after a hard tiring day.....aiyo.....humanbeings humanbeings,,...we are humans,,,...we r not an object...we breathe....we think...we tok....unlike the animals...we r living in the democratic rasional society....we hv the rights to voice out the things we dislike...so wat the use of keepin it?y nid to b so care abt how n wat ppl think?s long s we noe wat we r doin...noe wat we ourselves thinkin...tats more than enuf.......i noe wat m i doin...althou i do think of him everyday....i still nid to further my studies n live life to the fullest man.....play...PLAY TO THE MAX...study...STUDY TO THE MAX...chat...CHAT TO THE MAX...hu cares?s long s u urself is happy....tats all....problems occur...barricading us from speakin the v truth....hahah wats tat..im still searching.......wats in my mind..i can tell u.,... alot....a lot....tats im hvin insomnia in such young age....i hate tat..ya i wan sweet dreams.......aihhhh...wat to aih n wat to haih?jz kip goin....one day u will b able to search the unsearchable things which hidden in ur heart core.....sumthin which u cant think of...sumthin which is beyond ur imagination...sounds abstract but its true.....love is sumthin vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv complex....is not jz words....not jz actions...is the inner feelings tat say.......hard to find lahh..guys seems to b untrustable sumtimes ...same goes to gals.....trust urself n move on wif ur life....its tough but humanbeings seem to b more n more complicated......FRIENDS?HAHAHAHHAHA...friends too sumtimes r untrustable...but i hv bunch of gud buddies in kampar.........wat u hv now....grab hold of it......

BETTER ...

wau...2day such a busy day ....back to kampar ...pack my things..go uni...why on earth emcees nid to compose their own script...haha....me, jason,patricia,n wilson..all of others like cracking our heads to finished up the script...haahah wats the aftermath is we dun hv an idea abt the entire flow of the event..come on....my beloved presidents...we r not genius la wei.....but finally we got the script done....haih....sweat day man....hhahaha,,.....yesterday...i indeed had a great nite wif Anna n Ten....we chat...we laugh....kinda enjoy this kind of wonderful frenship...do hope our frenship wil last 4eva...mis u two.......i miss my mates vvvv much too.....mis my sai lou...Kennie...althou we did hv sum arguments in Kl trip...but still i miss him....i miss LENE,ALEX,ALVIN,JENNY,.....many more...sumtimes althou u r not in a hapi mood. but frenz they r the ones who accompany u thru hard moments.....i noe all of my comrades they care abt me...is jz tat im too heavy headed....they tell me to let go him..they even b my counsellor 4 almost one year more...n still i remain the same....y cant i learn to let go....day by day....they r backin me up..they r my strength....y cant i prove to them....hei guys....IM A NEW ONE...dun worry abt me anymore..im fine....YEE LING challenged me yesterday nite..askin me...can u let go ur ex from now on?wat i answer is i cant gif u a YES..but i will gif u NOD OF HEAD....kam lans.....im ok....i love to b hapi.....but long time din feel the seed of happiness in me anymore.... nid to water it...nurture it....now..its nids to grow...to blossom....i do hope my happiness will grow....n blossom one day.....wau...jz imagine tat day will b a great awesome day for me....tell u wat...sumtimes i do think wat will my future boyfren looks like?a vertically challenged one..or a tall one...fat one.....bamboo type...hhhahahaha...mayb i will single for life....i wont expect any guys to hav the chemistry 2wards me....cz im a horrible gal ..hahaha....talkative lehh...noti lehh....mzny more...if u noe me...u should noe my attitudes....hahhha....hope to go bk kampar s fast s possible...im gona b vvvvvvvvvvvvvv busy in the cumin semester...wau..............i nid to polish up my knowledge,.....augment my level of eng........wat thrill me is im gona hv POLITICAL SCIENCE the next sem....im waiting 4 it.......COME ON POLITICS......GIF ME A HUG man....tats all 4 2day......

im down...

haha...i think these few years will b my dull years...hard to overcome..but i can go thru it..wen i saw their photos..i tot i can really let go but indeed NOPE...my heart really hurts..yesterday morning i msg my ex..i said..if there is fairy godmother ..n she pops out in my dream..i hope she can fulfil my dream..tat one DReam..my heart stops beating my brain dies...do u noe how much i hope to gif up everythin which i have now...wat he replied?he called me to move forward...move on ...i replied sorry..he told me not to say sorry...i should hv apologize to myself...shud make the best out of wat i hv now......dear,,do u noe i do stand up....do u noe i did put my full effort in my finals...i study really hard for it,,,i did discipline myself...i tell myself im gona do well in this finals..after tat im gona go KL n find u...at least can c u ...tats more than enuf....now u r sayin im not movin 4ward...im really disappointed wif his words...now my dreams shattered into pieces...i do hope we can reconcile...but in vain...he is AVAILABLE...this will b the 2nd time seeing him wif his gf......wat can i do?I WAN TO DO MY BEST....ACHIEVE MY GOALS N DREAMS..his words will alwiz in my heart...his words will b strong motivation...dear tx 4 ur golden words..it hurts me but its effective....im down 2day doesnt mean i will down 4eva...i will prove to myself .....prove to u....I CAN DO IT!from now onwards...CAREENA...wont b the same old Careena...I will handle my things...i m 21 mah...as wat u say...im big enuf to think.....to tik k of myself..sure i will...u better too take care ok...muz love ur gf more each day.....bless u guys.....dear i chap lahh...hope everythin goes well in ur carrier...drink more water....if both ur legs feel lethargic,immerse both into warm water..u wil feel better gah....okok!althou u din hear me...but i believe u noe how to tik k of urself.....love u..

...

hahah...he is alwiz in my mind...if one day he vanished in my mind..it could b good rite?but he keeps rolling in my mind...he has a girlfriend..gorgeous looking gal..me?hahah..i saw his photo wif the gal...it seems my love for him has to cum to a halt!He is alwiz my dear..ya...reminisced those days,we hold hands together,we hug each other,thou we do have squabbles..I LOVE HIM...now he is no longer mine...he is too far from me..he is even far now..imagine he is holding the gal's hand tightly..nvr let go...i have been struggled for 1 year more...still i cant let go..im truly an absurd one.....mayb i dun fathom the word HURT in me....my heart cries....but my tears r dry..it evaporates....i can grabhold pf my tears..it jz flow.........tears..pains...hurts.......i hv been thru..now im still undergoin the excruciating pain....its a new life?at first i tot he is lying to me...but now i knew it is true...ya true...my ex has a new GALFREN...they have their loving time 2gether...n me?im lost....2 u noe how much i mis his voice?i yearn to c his face...everytime i go pavillion..i will stand at the back of the pillar to jz hav a look at him...time flies...i stood there for 2hours...n i jz tot 20min...oh gosh...can i stand there for few more hours?can i jz say a gudbye to him?can i ask him hows ur day dear?u tired?can i gif u a massage?i cant even get closed to him...all i can do jz to stand there n look at him....hahaha i cried....everytime i step into pavillion...i feel sad...n reluctant.....i reluctant to leave him....dear im sorry wif wat i hv done....i still LOve u vvvv much...i dun deserve any reconciliation...im lost...sumtimes do wonder wat is he doin?chatting wif his gf.....huggin her?his love for me jz faded away....is past....if fairy godmother pops out...i would like her to fulfil my wish...tat is to tell him I LOVE YOU........love comprises diff tastes...sour,bitter,sweet......mine bitter.....hhahahaha bitter.......can sumwan jz listen to me?can sumwan hear me?they r both together......happily eva after.......dear take good of urself k.......i sleep lahh....hug u to lalaland.....