believe...

dun u believe love at first sight....sum gurls thye might believe true love...but for me it doesnt really exist...maybe she has the chance to hav that v chance.I MISS OSCAR...this is my true words....evrytime wen i look into his facebook...i feel uneasy....again I FAIL ....IGNORE? .he thinks that he doesnt ignore me..but to me...YES...but can i do?wat u believe then?do u believe in guys promises?hahaah WAT THE FUCK,....DUN EVA TRUST THEIR WORDS...is ME who is the morone who trusted his words....NO MORE...Y I NID TO BE DECEIVED BY THEM...M I EASILY BEING DECEIVED BY PPL ESP MY FEEINGS...im a human being...im not a Robot...im not a machine...im a lady as well...wat u guys think?i cant bear this anymore...wen it comes to moments of silence ...i will start to think unnecessary stuff...I LOVE My ex..I miss Os...i thought i really can hav a person who cares for me....now...HAAHAHHAHA...NOTHIN...I GAIN NOTHIN...BUT A SENSE OF IGNORANCE...FROM HIM...WAT HAV I DONE WRONG..HAV I DONE SUMTHIN WHICH IRRITATES YOU?DID I?m i tat bad which scares you away?why i nid to beg you>..yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.....y cant i hav a chance to say I MISS YOU....y cant i hav a chance to ask WAT HAPPEN TO YOU....WAT HAPPEN TO US BOTH...how i hope time can jz stagnant there....we can both in the room watch movie together....chat together...NOW NO MORE....y GOD gave me so many passer by....GOD my heart is in pain....DO U NOE THAT?I SAW my ex's gf....I saw Os FB...ENUF....................I CAN PRETEND NOTHIN HAPPEN....but pls consider that IM A HUMANBEING...im not an object...COME ON...i can smile laugh all the time...doesnt mean im happy all the time....is not easy to be happy but its easy to be a pretender.....do u believe?hhahah I BELIEVE.....

careena is fresh at this moment.....

moments of sadness seem to fade away....previous notes i hv had premonitions that i will be single for life ...but yesterday all of sudden....Mei mei had an intuition that i will get attached wen i step into the society...wau....at least at this v moment,,im happy...but now hav to go back n study japanese,,,...kinda stressssssssssss...but wat to do...u hav to study...move on with ur life by holding the book of JAPANESE...AIYOOOOOOOOOOO TERUK ...Y ON EARTH U HAV TO CHOOSE JAP...HAHAAHH TAMIL?terk betul...2day i bought a dress...it suits me well....pretty nice....the impeccable beauty in me shines....ahahah....self praise....wtf....anyway.....the world is rotating...our mind and soul is charging with the energy....haih....careena MOVE ON...

.......what ten said is rite.....

im obviously looks older than him....he is charming prince of mine but we r maybe not meant together......i will try but with no hope we grab...with no dreams we hope......we have nothin to hope...we nth to dream of...we hv nth to grab...all we can grab is the time.....the time where we can simply jz smile to each other.....to actually jz say how r u?how do u do?i duno wen this thing last....will it last...but in this world nth can be endured...nth where we can actually hold on to....is only our things...our own belongings...study baik baik....obtain wat u urself want,,,tats the most crucial.......remember....reach out to the society...serve the community..obtain gud results....REALLY CAREENA....U MZ REMEMBER UR FUTURE ROAD IS VVVVVVVVVVVV VITAL.....u MZ ACHIEVE.....NO WAN CAN EVA STEAL UR BELONGINGS....NO ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....gain ur respect....but pls remember u mz first respect urself...

these few days

ya verbally we both miss each other but duno whether its true or not...i jz dun wan to noe.....guys use to lie...they r deceiver....not sayin im being bias but its true...im not tryin to fabricate the truth but it lies in the beholder's eyes....i dun wan again get hurt.....im enuf of all these....we r frenz n yet i feel sad....come on careena pls wake up.....its time u hav to stand up...to do sth for urself.....maybe sumtimes we r not meant together....i duno...im lost...i miss him but at the same time im lost...im totally in ambivalence....i think of him all the time...izit bcz i like him?i m scared...im reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy scared.....its in the paranormal situation.....its beyond words.....i duno hu to tok to...i duno wat mi now....which condition im in now....m i.......pls...if u really lie to me...tell me....stop tat...we should stop.....plsssssssssssssss....let me gooooo!im suffocating....i try to gasp for air.....careena is dying...my soul die.......subsequently it nids time to recover....rejuvenate my soul ...canm sumwan jz lend me their shoulders.....i will pretty appreciate....in this world there will be no true love....hahhaha....its not a joke...its true....sumtimes i pretty envy my frenz...not in a negative way....at least their bf not lie to them....they r true to each other...ex: jenny n alvin.....so good....charmaine n barry...they r true....ME?ME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

THE startled me....the emptyness in me....look into me

LOOK into me...look into my eyes....HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY....congrats,,,,,.wateva victories in life.....wateva glamorous life u have been thru....can u eva take it to the day u perish?Life?A smile will brightens ur day...really?a drop of tears can flood the whole nation?sounds implicit?ya tats wat im thinkin now...its weird...but the world is indeed weird n hilarious....everyone was laughin at one another till today...everyone is wearing a mask....we are wearing masks with different colours...different patterns.....different sizes...but eventually we will meet at one deep dark damp place tats is the casket..under the ground...wen u look bak....worth?WORTH?laughter can brightens the day.....smile can cheer up ur gloomy day.....a drop of tear can save the world......A penny can save u from hunger......wen the entire globe no longer rotating......wen there is no longer breath ......there is no longer oxygen......i duno wat m i writing...but tats wat im thinkin rite now...its sounds kinda perplexing.....nut it does make sense...wen u eva reach tat predicament where u face speechless state...unconscious state....this is the time where u gona suffocating in pain..u desperate for more.....for wat...u duno....u jz wan something...but u duno wat u want??????u r lost..u nid a hand to hold....u nid a shoulder to lean>REALLY?i saw her.....iM SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD...my heart cries....my tears rolling...but barely able to roll down to my cheeks.....she crumbles..but she nvr let herself tumble jz like tat....HOLD HER.....hold her tightly....she nid help.,....mentally...I RESPECT YOU....YOU ARE MY WOMAN....Salute......thousands Salutessss.....MIsss...u r in my heart....again thanks.ss....but till now ur student still cant find her way out...she doesnt noe her way..her path...she jz walk....run to the v end....where is the end?I duno....i will keep on running....everone can be as strong as iron....but how long can we be tat tenacious?walk into a dark room...u touch nothin,,u see nothin.....u hear nothin.....u taste nothin...u yell for nothin...u cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy n cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...PLSSSSSSSSSS PLSSSSSSSSSSSS HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP HELPPPPPPPPPPP.....but in vain.....no one....NO ONEEEEEEEE......u sing to urself....u started to think ..think of wat?think of ur petite mum?think of ur handsome dad>?ur siblings?ur bf?ur hubby?ur mates?urself?FOR ME...I WILL KEEP ON CRYING...CRY TILL I HAV NO MORE TEARS....my tears have drained out....no more....can i hav more tears....???Look into my eyes...u can c tears rolling...all humanbeing they hv flaws....they are weak ....look into my eyes...

ya im kinda sad to hear that...

wat is life?how many ppl can define the real exact meaning of life?how many years they hav been thru in their whole life time?how old are you nw?go around and ask how old r them?wat they hav been thru......wat is LIFE?i hav been harping on the same old ques....WAT HAV U BEEN THRU?Careena wat hav u been thru?do i really cherish the ppl around me?My family members?my frenz?if i really diagnose with sum disease.....what m i goin to do the next few steps?wat m i goin to go in days to come?m i goin to jz waste my time jz like tat?for me now....if there is really tat occurrence,....I will do sth which i think its important....i will confront my love....saying I LOVE YOU...i will too confront those mates whom i dislike...telling them IM SORRY FRENZ.....I LOVE U GUYS....pls forgive me....duno wats in my mind.... .im now cant think of anything...jz empty....is tat i can do?im damn useles....today wen i saw her the frail look.....from far......tat v moment she was right infront of me.....she looks far more than i hav expected......she was once a very gorgeous lady to me.....now she is totally different......teacher can I gif u a hug?thanks for everything...i will do well in my course....i wont disheartened u....miss.....take care Miss.....thanks .THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

yesterday....

yesterday i went clubbing with kar mun n her bf.....nt the right place for me...i dun really like it cz of the ppl there...i prefer Barbeza n Houz......she recommended me a guy.....i dun like this kind of guy...same goes to male fren.......he is wealthy...so?he is ambitious so?he is wateva lahh....non of my fuckin business.....i dun gif a damn.......i dun hv any feelings towards anyone thou..........they r .......HORRIBLE.....wateva lahh.....its better for me to focus more in my studies....how i hope one day i can hav my own design house,......my ideal house.....wau.........MAN?HAHAHAAHAH THEY ARE HORRIBLE....u cant find sumwan hu is trustable.....they seem to take women for granted...what u guys wan?SEX?LUST......................FUCK OFF.BYE TO MEN.....WOMEN.U NID TO STAND FOR URSELF...NOT DEPENDANT...BUT INDEPENDANT......LADIES.......

i finally got Shahanaaz Habib in facebook...happy lehh

i finally got my admirer......she is the one....she is well known notable reporter who represented Malaysia to Gaza .........n she was the one who had a conversation with Obama,,,.....she is really capable.....undescribable words......she is immanent....she is my goal......yea....but im still hesitating regarding her success...still wan to noe more....but of course prac makes perfect.....is hardly for me to noe her more...but at least i get a chance to get a bit closer to her....yESSSSS!

i noe we wont be bk 2gether.....miss him...

2day....or maybe these few years...everyday still missing him he is still in my mind...our memories still in my mind...hardly for me to forget him...dear....if there is IF...I WOULD CHOOSE TO HV U IN MY LIFE ......TO BE MY BACKUP AS WAT U SAID.....dear dear i miss u...how i hope i can hug u....massage u....now ?haahahha u already hav one now....the one hu alwiz be there for u....take care of u....tell u wat....im now not attached to anyone....they are not even my cup of tea......its difficult to find the one hu knows me well.....hu noes wat m i thinkin....too bad.....I dun think im tat bad...i would like to say im better than the other gurls....but no worries ...now i have my vision...my dreams.....i havent even achieved...no worries........i will prove to u i will move on.....move on in my carrier in future....we wont be meeting each other maybe foreva...maybe few years...but u r alwiz in me....Careena will nvr forget u......U R A MAN to me....hugging my baby bolster is like hugging u......everynite....feel like hugging u....hug u tight tight.....miss u so much,.....bless u ...ur carrier...ur gf....ur family....take care....Dear I LOVE YOU......thou u r now my ex....but ur special to me foreva.......LOVE U SO MUCH......

pissed off,.....

i dun expect ppl to say thank you bt at least u appreciate with a true heart....i bought you a cake...at least u hav a taste of it....I believed its not tat bad..till like u felt like spitting it out....not everyone as lavish as you....think about it....for me..i will be v happy cz how i hope there is sumwan bought me a surprise cake.....the world is round.......the globe is rotating.....we cant predict wat wil happen in future...we duno whether we hav the chance to even savour the taste of a piece of so called NOT BRANDED YEOLDE cake....thou its not indulgence..thou its not Marias..thou its not Citrus....its jz a normal piece of mango cake......if u wan....fo mix with wealthy affluent mates where they can buy u GUCCI PRADA FENDI LV BURBERRY...all those fuck up things.....hu doesnt wan tat?TELL ME...I WAN TAT TOO...but i cant expect ppl to treat me to notable luxurious restaurant.......it means u guys dont noe me well......i kip myself quiet cz im speechless.....u want....GET IT FROM UR BF den....or u get it all by ur own naked hands.....be real....be true.......u guys r fortunate enuf.....try to compare wif other ppl.....hu bag for fud......hu crave for a drop of water...they r much more pathetic..........u guys wan nice car rite?u guys wan luxurious party rite?go get it...but im not goin to involve....i hav my life....i hav lots to achieve......

thinking

im still thinkin how to actually make a club a successful wan?how?wat can i do?who m i to seek advice?i nid to do sumthin the nex sem...no time to waste/......we cant procrastinate our tasks anymore.....things have to be settled in a fast pace...haih the time wont b waiting us....we nid to chase after time.....come on....im now lacking of ideas...shit....my ideal society?gender equality society....i nid to assemble all chairs from all societies....this gona be a big meeting.....hahha....not fun at all....sumtimes we nid to have our determination to be crave in us inexorably........nvr give up...nvr give in to anything...any obstacles....but there r strategies rite.....wat kind of strategies.....how to move ......steps which is efficient n apt.....haih....now we have to commit ourselves into the session of brainstorming....haih....we cant let anyone to impoverish our society...i cant let it jz fall....we nid concrete ideas..to actually build a strong building....n i nid my subordinates to work together with me n Edward.....i cant let the seniors to despise us........no...NO NEVER.....dun eva underestimate us.....we r beyond wat u guys think......look into our eyes....our eyes will be ur answer.......dun eva destruct our confidence.........get off....

will try

wat to try?try to be a lady...a lady whom ppl will admire.....i want ppl to admire me not my beauty..but my brilliance....my skills....i have a vision....do hope one day i can sit with the TAN SERIsss...our country's leaders...tok with them...to be frenz with them....but how?i noe the only thing which can assist me tat is my studies......CAREENNAAAAAAAAAAA U MUST DO IT.....U WAN ...U GO FOR IT......DUIN WAIT...DUN PROCRASTINATE UT STUFF......U CAN BE AN ACHIEVER ONE DAY...CLIMB THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN......WATEVA U HAVE NOW IS NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE..UR FUTURE...RUN RUN RUN RUN...RIN THE RACE...B THE VICTOR NOT THE LOSER.........U HAV LOTS TO ACHIEVE.....GO.....DUN WASTE TIME...

wats so hapi about?

shit i have three wiks holidays....gosh i have to face my lovely mum for three wiks...how i hope to jz hv three days holidays rather than three wiks..tats damn long....i dislike having long holidays unless i have sumthin more meaningful to do like travelling....but where can i go?i dun feel like goin anywhere..staying at home?NOPE...PENANG?NOPE....KL?NOPE....esp Pavillion///.....lagi teruk....all those sad memories jz floating by.....yesterday i had tea time wif kar mun n kenneth...he has given me several advices regarding BGF thingy....life seems to be drown in the cyber world..where relationship also in the trading ground where there is mutual benefits..wtf....is tat deemed as LOVE?no more.....y cant we treat love as something soothing...somethin cozy.....for me now..at this very moment...i feel love is jz sth very simple....well....wat it means?i duno how ppl think abt love?for me....its no longer like the olden days love..where there is true love...now....hahaha think about it ladies n gentlemen....men crave for SEX...women crave for WEALTH......i do hope i have sumwan hu can care for me........believe in HIM....HE shall bring u miracles......TRUST...THE ONLY PERSON WHOM I CAN TRUST....jz like to share one thing......do hope i can be a diplomat one day..its hard..but nth is ez in this world....I CAN DO IT.......THIS SEM CANT....WILL TRY THE NEX SEM....ENHANCE UR LEVEL OF LANGUAGE........U MUST....ITS A MUST....DUN EVA GIVE UP...im not born n bred in an affluent family ....where i can spend lavishly....but i believe one day i can have tat..have wat i want....CAREENA YEOH....nothing impossible

my life

i jz duno wats in my mind......im now in a mess..i duno wat m i doin..its absolutely not me....its a total different me......im dead..im useless..im nobody but jz a trash in a gabbage bin.....wat can i do to eva find myself back?i cant.,....im lost in the bewilderness....i cant find my way out...the world seems to be rotating....ppl seems to be more perplexing...they are fuckers...they are deceivers...they are untrustable....why cant sumwan jz care for me seriously without any rewards.....i dun wan ...i dun urrs...i dunwan ur touch ...i dun wan ur hug........im not yours.......no rumours....no pointing fingers on anyone.....go away from me.....let go careena....its not me...its not me...im devastated...im now in a depleted energy state....charge me.....i dun think so....im totally down.........my level of CAREENA ME...is totally lost in wonder....hahahhah...so implicit rite?im an asshole.....Careena is a bitch....i bitch around....haaahh my life?u wan ur life to be the top bitch in the world....argh its so pathetic.......there is no longer me....i feel calling back my ex telling him.........im so insecure now..i feel like dying...hang myself at the corner of sumwhere....i cant my way out...its seems im being enshrouded by the mist ....the anxiety mist...the horrifying mist.....i have been strangled myself till death......im perish ladies n gentlemen...wat the fuck is tat?wat m i trying to convey...this is the condition im facing now......

im empty

my mind now is empty.....unconscious state....tedious helpless..i cant force myself to accomplish my tasks at one time...pronounced dead......im like a dead fish..i nid water n air to breathe.....help help help....can sumwan come to my rescue..........2nite billboard......2nite again mass media assign....2nite 2nite././i only have tat 24 hours...i wan sleep/.....i wan a peaceful dinner....i wan i DUNO WAT I WANT ...DAMN FUCK UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP..........DAMN LOT ASSIGNMENTS...NVR ENDING ASSIGN.,.....WAITING FOR ME.....WAT THE FUCK TO MHAV SUCH PILE UP IDIOTIC ASSIGN?DAMN FUCK UP......PLS LAHH.....UTAR WE R NOT ROBOTS...GIF US SUM BREATHING SPACE.....PLS LAHH.......YOOOOOOOOOOOOO///.......

im insane

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM DAMN FUCKING TIRED...A LOT OFS...EXAMSSSSS ASSIGNMENTSSSSSSSSS....EXAMS...ASSIGNMENTSSSSSS...EXAMSSS...YEA THIS IS MY LIFE.....I WANT TO SLEEP...I WANT TO EAT...I WANT TO LAUGH OUT REAL LOUD......IM DAMN RESTLESS NOW.......

....

how to help myself?im scared...actually im cold now.....standing in th midst of the bewilderness....so cold.....so lonely....here is the place where im standing........HELP HELP HELP...call for help...but in vain......PLEASE PLEASE...I REALLY NID HELP.....IM SCARED IM SCARED.......I DUNO WAT TO SAY....ITS JZ SPEECHLESS...its jz restless...im falling....my tears like the torrential cascade downpour......come on......im a humanbeing.......careena Yeoh....u r not a hero..nor a robot......u r a normal human.....yesterday i dreamt my ex...i was totally down......i dun feel happy wen i reminisced the time we were together......love?everyday he is in my mind....but for him?the gurl whom is he is embracing now....no longer me.....is jz a dream......im no longer anyone...im alone....he is far....ya....HE IS FAR...me in him vanished.....it evaporated into the air....byeeeeee

help....im restless

these few wiks..im was totally like a dead fish...im truly n deeply tired....i cant find ways to unwind myself......i fall sick few times...ate panadols....gastric...ate gastric pills...now migraine...im truly stress this week...i really feel like killing myself....duno hu to tok to.....jz feel like crying...cry out loud...as loud as possible....a lot of assignments waiting for me to accomplish...its killing me...i barely able to breathe....this fri exam pulak.....where to seek help?where to call for rescue?careena u cant stop jz like tat...all ur efforts....all ur hardwork will be gone....thus u have to stand up,,..no matter how rocky the road is.,,,..after crying..u still .nid to move on.,..after the pain u have suffered u still have to move on.....there wont be fairy godmother...there wont be miracles...u r the one hu make miracles....how tired u r..no one will gona lend u a shoulder.....u Sick...go tik med...u pain..go seek ways to heal urself....u cry....use tissue to wipe away ur tears.....tired...go sleep.....hungry..go eat!this is life....hu r u gona wait?MOVE MOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..RUN THE RACE......REACH THE VVVVV TOP......ACHIEVE UR GOAL......

careena ur dead

2day is a sunday...supposingly is a happy day for everyone...for me..im not at all..i would choose to stay in kampar..in my own intimate room..do u noe how cozy it is in ur own room..u can escape from stress from sadness from the things tat u supposed to face....i do hope i can cry out loud...in epo..again n again i think of my ex...BENG SOON!evryday do think of him..but cant say it out...duno hu to tell....i stood at salam the mamak....again i reminisced those days we were together...yea....jz now i received a call from my mates..they interviewed me by askin me a few ques...how u do u define love?for me LOVE is sumthin beautiful wen i was young..now NO MORE....love?i get love?ya family love...frenz love?love is sumthin which u cant guarantee...love is sumthin which u cant grabhold with...it will go....its jz a glimpse second...do u noe i hate to be alone?do u noe im a person hu really really nids care n hugs....but the truth is i dun hv...i hv to face it...n face it with boldness....the road is getting tougher..i will walk it with the courage which i hv now...MR LIONEL said tat my performance hv dropped...how sad wen i heard tat?i was totally startled...y?y?i nid to ask myself why?i hav to remain 3pointers and above...i HAVE TO...lots in my mind rite now....i hav to sort it out one by one....a lottt....uncountable..i will keep his word in my mind....MOVE ON...dear dear no matter how hard i will MOVE ON....I WILL...I PROMISE..I WONT DISTURB U....hope everythin goes well wif ur carrier n ur relationship wif ur gf!GOD BLESS U....take care will be missing u...is alwiz hard to find sumwan u really love...LIKE?LOVE A PERSON comprises a lot of things....do hope couples will cherish one another....compromise wif each other....there is alwiz a solution...if GOD does give me a chance to bk wif him,..I WILL SAY YES...i will run after him n gif him my deepest hug saying...DEAR I LOVE U..I WONT LET U GO...

im just hu m i...

im not superwoman...im not tough till as the concrete walls...im a humanbeing..!though im not as cute as gurls in my uni .IM A LADY IM A LADY

heheeh

2day is a v special day to me.....sometimes althou both couples look simple but their love impress me....their eyes...their tender care ...they r like in t...their own world...how do i hope hv a digi camera...take down every moment they hv now....the most important is the v moment now...they ...lovingly chatting...althou the gal kinda long-winded but he guy still listen to her...this really impress me......wen i c them happy....automatically i feel the elation in me...theeir smile..their laughter filled the air....can we take a photo?frenzz i LOVE YOU...HOPE BOTH OF U DO CHERISH EACH OTHER TILL U LEAVE UTAR.....CHERISH EACH OTHER TILL THE VVVV MOMENT....Muaksss

suddenly..

suddenly wen i was listening to Kenny G songs, my ex pops into my mind...tell the vvvvvvvv truth Careena still think of her ex...everyday he is already in his mind...his gf now bz with assignments....at his gf has sumwan to lean on...for me?hu do i lean on?his shoulders?can i just say Dear can u lend me jz 4 a while?hhaahahahaha nonsense.....im actually now doin my assignments but in really out of ideas...totally lost....he is probably now chatting wif his gf....hugging each other....

my heart stops...

2day i visited hongleong....i felt kinda heavy-hearted...i miss him at the same time i felt scared wen i visit him....but the moment i saw him...i happy worr at the same time i felt reluctant to say gudbye....bye Mr Liew...i miss him...do u noe how much i hope to get close to him...to really take care for him...b the one hu cares for him at all times....but i dun get a chance...maybe i dun deserve gua..i tot of telling him i LIKE YOU...but i dun dare to I DUN DARE AHH...M I A COWARD?I DUN HVE The guts to approach him.....i felt heartache wen i visited him but all i can do is to smile to him...make fun,.....make sum jokes....wen actually the inner me i dun feel tat....CAN I TAKE CARE OF YOU?CAN I DO JZ SUMTHIN FOR YOU?CAN.??nway i will support him all the time..ya all the time...luckily i have a bunch of mates here supporting me all the time esp in down moments,...thanks JENNY....thanks....i feel myself like strengthless.....i barely able to stand for myself sumtimes....lots in UTAR tot im a tough tough galll...i do nid love..i nid sumwan to love me...to say DARLING CAN I HUG U?i miss him lorr....im tired lahh...no mood ....2mrw got class...i cant disappointed my lecturers..my tutors...im scared but at the same time i dun wan to skip clas...buti dun have the power to stand up.....can sumwan lift me up?mid term ahh?????????CAREENA U SUCKS LAHHH..........U R A REAL LOSER.......YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

haihzzz another day

again another day...today is sunday.....tomorrow is monday......again a new day..time flies...yea...time flies....we r aging yea...worries are piling...worries are accumulating according to our age...how do i hope happy moments can jz be there......happy moments....for me is countable...but for sum is uncountable...maybe it all depends on individuals..how u look at ur life now and in future....do u noe how much i nid a person to take care of me...to lead me in times of troubles...i nid sumwan whom i can share my feelings to....im so tired recently...duno y it seems everythin jz chasing after me like a roaring lion....gosh..im jz a tiny ant..wat can i do?i kip on telling myself to b tough ...to b strong enuf...to b tenacious enuf in handling stuff....im trying to...im doing my best..ya....im in e process...but im too a humanbeing...im not ironman...im not superwoman .....come on....actually i fall in love wif a guy..but again i fail....yeah..i FAIL.....but i do tell myself one thing......nothin can eva disturb my studies n my position as the vicechair in uni....I HAVE MY OWN PRINCIPAL...tats me....i have my own limitations....my own boundaries,,,im not any gals whom mingling around.....im a simple yet complicated person...i noe wat m i doin....i wan to achieve well in my studies...n oso doin well in skul activities as well....im not anybody but i will b sumbody in future,..i kip my words...YA CAREENA YEOH DOES KIP HER WORDS...SHE CAN DO IT....SHE WILL GO FOR ANY CHANCES WHICH COMES HER WAY...SHE WILL GRAB ANY GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES .........CAREENA U MZ BE MORE TOUGH......STANDS UP......FACE THE WORLD ...FACE THE REALITY..NO DAY DREAMING...

im dead

im damn fuckin bz nowadays....busy till i dun hv time to even tik a deep breath....im tired....i dun noe hu to tok to....i duno ahh...im vvv tired...im now the vice chairperson in Utar...i nid to handle lots....my fren met an accident...im vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv worry abt him...but i cant do anythin..now we r planning to hold donations in Utar..wah...hav to write letter to PROFESSOR CHUAH.....pls approve us..pls.i BEG U.....I BEG U....i miss u....I MIS HIS MESSAGE...I MIS HIS LAUGHTER...I MISS HIS JOKES...now i dun have anyone whom i can tok to..i hav assignments all around,....pilling up like mountain.....i barely able to breathe...i nid sum respiration.....i NID air....i have lots in my mind....lots....lotsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IM DEAD LAHHH....

again im down

jz duno y...wen im bk kampar..jz feel tat loneliness surrounding me...again i picked up the photos we both taken in 2007...it makes me think of the memories...again im down...i cut my hair...vvvv short...this is the first time i feel kinda reluctant to hv my hair cut tat short..without any hesitation....now i hv a new look!haahah im a guy..im a boy?m i a girl?everyday i do think of him...thinkin of you,,,is something tat makes me sad....makes me cry....can sumwan hold my tears?careena now is single....she walks alone...she cries alone...she even see herself alone in dreams...the weather is burning hot but my heart is freezy cold...my body is shivering....i barely able to stand still....i hardly able to smile......tats me.....listen to the KENNY G songs....makes me reminisced the moments again....we hug each other..calling him softly..DEAR I LOVE U!now....in future....DEAR....A HORRIBLE WORD TO ME....I LOVE U.....HAHAHAAHAHH WAT A DAMN WORD IS TAT?Y GIRLS NID GUYS PROTECTION?WE DUN NID TAT.....WE DUN NID LOVE...WE DUN NID ANY OF UR SHELTER....U LEAVE ME A SCAR.........................NO LONGER WE WIL MEET...NO LONGER WE GONA SAY A WORD HELLO.....THERE IS ONLY BYE.....BYE CHONG BENG SOON IN MY LIFE!

numerous stuff...

tell u wat?hahaaha..2day i being boycotted by my mates...my lovely course mates...we supposed to hv 4 persons in a group..but they themselves already planned to b in a same group...how abt me?hahah im the left out..but eventually im in a group...i was compelled to b in tat particular group...i will try to cope wif dem....now i noe how important is my comrades....they gona save my assignments in these 3 years..i nid them...actually not sayin we r realistic its jz mutual benefit..we nid each other..we nid to lean on each other's shoulders...here comes unity..the unanimanous voice which we all hav now n the cumin 3 years..we nid to hold hands together no matter how much we dislike each other...i do hope i can b their frenz....jz tat normal fren...actually i do feel wateva happens around us all....there is a reason/..there is sumthin we nid to learn.....there is sumthin we nid to go thru in life..no matter how sad u r..no matter how many barricades u nid to been thru...u still nid to walk thru the path of darkness...only den u noe wat is LIFE...only den u r moulded to b a better person....patience..love....tolerance...maturity...self control..all these might be injected in u thru the walks of life..these r the values r goin to hold ur hands..lead u to the end of ur life..if now u duno how to grab hold of it..u will regret rest of ur life....im learning....in this year ..i do learn sumthin tats to really grabhold the things i precious the most..MY FRENZ...MY STUDIES....MY AMBITION...TX GOD THE MOSTTTTTTTT...HE is the one who let me noe wat is life gona b in future,,life is not jz a bed of roses...life fill wif thorny obstacles...but it does has honey ground...depends how u look at it....if u can take life like a blue sea..i believe life for u...must b unanticipated n unpredictable..there will b more surprises emerging infront of u....cz the sea full of the lovely creatures beyond our imagination...yea this is life!life for me is like the cactus..wau sounds bit weird but it does make sense...let me share a few words...there r thorns on the cactus...but there r different length in each thorn....we might go thru different hard times....sumtimes we do go thru hard moments which really disheartened us...but sum we can still take it....this is y i tik the cactus as the example...i can say i hav a colourful life...my life now fill wif variety of colours....but i cn myself one thing....MY FRENZ THEY PLAY A V CRUCIAL ROLE IN MY LIFE..WITHOUT THEM IM LIKE A LOST SHEEP...I HAV NO DIRECTION...THEY BRING ME BK...THEY TELL ME NOT TO GIF UP...STAND UP TO B A BETTER PERSON....U CAN DO IT!TX TO LYNN,ESTHER,MAY,YEELING,JING WEN,ERIC,JESLYN,JESS,CHARMAINE,...MY FAMILY...LOVE U ALL!i believe u guys will b the one who fill my life wif more fabulous colours....there r more to come.....

no mood

careena jz seems to b no mood....my mood is like weather ....changing moods all e time...i jz feel lots of things in my mind..i jz feel like yelling out..jz feel like having sumthin sweet...undescribable feelings in me...im like a lost sheep lost in the desolate jungle..searching ways to escape from the wilderness..where m i?can sumwan jz bring me bak?can sumwan gif me a hand?thousands of worries n anxieties in me...im now enshrouded wif the mist of worries n sadness...where m i to go?my life pages seem to b bored n dull....black? white?i myself still in the blur state...hope my sadness will gradually fade away..or else im gona suffer...im suffocating!i barely able to breathe...yesterday i again looked bk OURS PHOTOS...hahaa i cried..ya i cried...i jz tot i can stand n turn to a better tougher person but in vain...i try so hard..iterbnm indeed trying...im moving...but it seems sumthin holding me bk...the photos?the memories?the time we hav spent together?dis afternoon..i saw a couple givin each other a hug...i started to reminisce to lovely happy moments we hav been thru...ya he is still in my mind...but im no more in him..im the NOBODY..the nobody here means nothin to him anymore..no0 matter wat happens to me...its NOTHING TO HIM anymore..he is no longer there 4 me...he is no longer emerged in my lovely dreams..the dreams gona vanished foreva n eva...y?y nid to torture me?cruel.....feel like killing myself...how many years i nid to hold on to dis?m i absurd enuf to kip on holding this?i miss his smile..i miss his coolness to me...i miss him everything...i miss my dear again n again....MY SOUL DIES.....my mind stop working...my heart stops beating.....im overall dead...im n dead soul now...CHONG BENG SOON U R KILLING ME...

speechless

these few days i dun feel like saying anythin...duno y?i have nothin in my mind..in bad mood?NOPE..in gud mood?nope....i gain weight dy...kinda no mood lahh...tot of controlling myself but y ?i kip on eating. ..i hate myself...i hate being FAT...like a fat ass pig....Fxxx..haih no mood lahh/.....i dun hv any self determination...i dun hav self control..it makes me feel so sad disappointed wif myself...ya....small matters oso cant handle....im ...SPEECHLESS...anyway i have to tell myself...i wan to implant this attitude in me tat is to b self determination...control myself...ya...IN STUDIES..U MZ DO IT WELL...IN DIETwise too i hav to control...SURE U CAN DO IT...

yes..its rite

m i a diplomatic person?m i look diplomatic?i duno..im jz an ordinary person...ya simple thinkin....its true..mellowin down myself to b as normal as possible...how easy to put in words?anyway in these few days...suddenly sumthin jz came into my mind...if u hav gud excellent results..u can really gain a chance to hav wat u wan to obtain..wat u yearn to obtain all these while....I WAN TO B A POLITICIAN ONE DAY...I MUST STUDY TO THE VVVVVVVVVVV BEST...TO GAIN WAT I WAN....CAREENA YEOH MUST ACHIEVE HER VISION N GOAL...NO MATTER HOW STORMY THE WEATHER IS...SHE WILL GRIN N BEAR IT TILL THE END...she wont flinch nor hide...she will stand up n go thru all odds....im not a weaker nor a loser but im the victor....i hav the strength tat GOD has given to me......CAREENA u mz go for wat u want...go n get it by ur own hands....speak wif wisdom n faith n u shall win the race..

finished....say bye..

bye to emcees....yea finally i hv accomplished my role s an emcee...relax yeah!2day's career talk was indeed a great talk ...though its kinda boring but was an interesting tok by both proficient speakers..one of dem is the Managing Director from Carlsberg in China...dun eva belittle him..he manages to handle 9000 ppl.....n he has 19 plants...the other speaker is the head of finance n business dep....both of their speeches did impress me...mayb due to their achievements n visions....my career?of cz in me i hv my plans for future....but things seem to b unpredictable....its like the breaking news..unanticipated incidents might jz burst out infront of us...all we can do now is to prepare ourselves wif more knowledge n informations...these r the things which can guarantee me in future...ya....in dis modern epoch..we ladies no longer b discriminated by men we shld gain respect from others..the men should respect us the LADIES...the government shld create a platform for women to perform in the upcomin events n developments in the country....esp in the political n economical fields...we r also the pillar for the country..let the world hear our voices...LET THE WORLD SINGS OUR SONG...LET WE THE WOMEN EMBRACE THE SAME THINKIN N CONCEPT..WORK TOGETHER AS ONE BODY N STRENGTH..TO REACH OUT TO THE SOCIETY,,...WE CAN DO IT!dis is my dream..my vision to b a politician in future...the road might b tough but i love challenges....I believe God will lead me the way .....LADIES N GENTLEMEN,the grassroots future is in our hands...this task is not as simple as flipping a burger ....is beyond ur imagination...save our country...

careena's greatest blog....

greatest?wau...sounds bit great ya...anyway jz normal piece of blog..althou these few days nothin big happenings ...but still feel like blogging...sharing my walks of life...my path ...sumtimes in life,we r playing the perfectionist role ...we want to b perfect but how r we to achieve tat flawless results?to b perfect is easy in words but in actionwise is kinda difficult...but wen we really achieve tat v level..i believe its a indeed the greatest compliment eva...to be perfect or to b great in everything we do...we mz first achieve wat we ourselves wanted to achieve..humanbeings love to compete wif one another .....as the competition arises...our level of perfection seems to decrease ..this might sound a bit perplexing but me myself fathom...yeah!for instance,my emcee partner JASON...he told me he wanted the emcee role to b perfect...of cz me myself wanted to b perfect as well...but first n foremost we ourselves hav to first ask ourselves...did we put in our greatest effort?if yes..only we demand the word PERFECT...if we ourselves havent reached tat v point...how can we aim to b perfect?JAson HE IS pretty nervous durin his turn to speak..den how he himself aim to b perfect?if he is steady enuf only he has the right to aim for perfection...or else pls belt up..I really aspire to hold a position in UTAR...at least i hav sum contributions to my own UNI....dis noon...after the end of the entire event...Alice n Hui Ying thanked me for helpin dem lots...actually i was jz playin a minor role..jz an emcee....throwing a few words..tats all..but im happy ...y?cz i have done my best in playing tat minor role...THE EMCEE...wateva we do....we must do it extraordinarily well....only we proceed to the level of being PERFECT....it will b great den!different ppl hav their own level of perfection...depend on individuals....i do hope wateva i do...i do it to the best for myself..not for anybody.....ME N ME ALONE...

emceessss

im the emcee for the mass call formal function....continuously for four days ahh...yesterday it was quite fun though it was pretty lethargic...everyone kip on praising my partner JASON handsome...oooh...to me he is jz an ordinary guy...the way he speaks din really impressed me...anyway happy to noe all of dem...tomorrow is my last day emceeing...hahahha..happy?NOPE..but tired...but these previous day i did enjoy my days in kampar...i hav a new friend his name call DOMINANCE..wau such a long cute name...he looks cute too...yeeling will b leaving kampar to PJ 2mrw..ya mis her but duno how to express in words..saying HEY GAL I MIS U...ya....miz her laughter n her noti noti noise ...contaminated the entire apartment..but without her voice...the house drown into the tranquil nite.......REST IN PEACE...RIP...but i believe all of us can accustom to it...hope so...I FINALLY OBTAINED MY FINAL results....i scored 3.8 for my CGPA...Thanks GOD for HIS strength for me...i can TELL U..without HIM...i would hav dead......i wont b tough to go thru the deepest sea n climb the highest mountain,,.....TX GOD....I will tell myself i will maintain it ...i have to work even smarter n harder in order to get better results.....CAREENA U MZ DO IT...only studies can uphold ur future.tats all lu...

normal usual dayssss

suddenly Ms Chan sent me email sayin tat the latest update regarding the emcee rehearsal defer to wed..haih...but i hav decided to go bk 2day....jz thinkin y m i still staying at home?i prefer bk to kampar at least i can hv my own privacy...jz to stay in my own room...i mis my baby bolster lehh....huggin it like huggin my darling hahah..weird rite...duno y wen im huggin it i feel the warmth in me...no worries...no distractions....my baby bolster is like my company...it accompanies me thru times of trouble n happiness....remember wen i was small...i used to hug it wen i was crying...TILL NOW STILL THE SAME...its there alwiz...ya..unlike the humanbeings...they cast me aside...they toy me around ...y not i mis my baby bolster rather than missin the unrelevant stuff which pestering me lots.....wat surprised me is...im gona brin bk the photos which i hv taken wif him....the gud memories will b carved in my heart forever....our hearts no longer there for each other.we r no longer feel each others touch...its like water vapour evaporate into the air.....untouchable feelings...my love for him will no longer exist so does him...his love for me no longer exist too...we r finished...y time seems to past so swiftly?y not jz pause for a while...let us b there jz for tat v moment...remembered durin last year's new year eve...we see fireworks near greentown...DO U NOE TAT V MOMENT IS MY HAPPIEST MOMENT WHICH I EVER HAD....AT NIGHT..we hug each other to lalaland.....n i did say...LOVE U VVVVV MUCH DEAR!HOW MUCH U LOVE ME?ANYWAY I DID LOVE HIM B4..at least i did love a person before....i stil keep those movie tickets which we both watched b4...hahha movies...yea mis the time wif him watchin movie....now all alone...ya..he is now watchin movie wif another girl..holdin her hands...touchin her lips...embracing her to his warm loving arms....telling her..BABE I LOVE U....ME?ahhahhah im jz a morone silly gurl hopin one day .....YA HOPE SHATTERED INTO PIECES..MY DREAMS VANISHED INTO THE AIR....ITS TIME to wake up...where is my alarm clock?

WORDS...

jz duno y my blog seems to b so unhapi all e time....DO U noe i was actually a v happy n cheerful gal wen i was a little kid...ya..but now no longer!there is no longer a smile on my face...my life gettin more perplexing..me myself dun even noe how to handle....jz go for it...my road ahead is tougher..i knew it..but wat to do?jz grin n bear it...b tenacious n continue....MY LIFE...HAIH...my life full of TWO COLOURS..BLACK N GREY.....hahaha nice cool colours rite..results cumin out dis wik lahh...nervous...but i did do my vvvvv best...ya i hav done my best!but me still scared...ya ahhahahahahaahaha!ya i love to LOL...LAUGH ....LAUGH...WATEVA u wan to do now....JZ DO IT...no regrets...U WAN TO laugh...jz laugh...U WAN TO cry...jz cry...JZ DO WAT U WANT MAN...DUN BOTHER WAT PPL THINK ABT U....SO DUN BLOCK MY WAY...I JZ DO WAT I WANT....i noe wat im doin....CAREENA NOES WAT SHE IS DOIN..TATS ALL

finally

2mrw i bk kampar lahh...hapi hapi..i hv gud nite sleep lu....jz now msn wif sis..she told me she saw him in pavillion....ENOUGH LAHH...HOW MANY TIMES I HEARD HIS NAME...i nid to let go this idiot...he is NO LONGER EXIST IN MY LIFE...MY life is jz...I WANT TO B HAPPY...I WANT..I WANT TO B CHEERFUL AHH....I WANT...ITS ENUF PAIN N SUFFER...IM SUFFOCATING IN PAIN.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?I CANT cry out loud..i cant tell ppl im sad...i cant tell my frenz im still holding him...gif me time lahh...im not an object....okok...!yo...he is no no no no no longer exist in MY LIFE.....U R OUT OF MY LIFE.....WAT BLOODLY SHIT U TOLD ME...LOVE ME?WATS LOVE?WATS MISS?OH TATS NOTHIN ANYMORE..........WATS DATING?HAHAAHAH COME ON....LOVE IS JZ U LOVE ME N I LOVE U... LOVE?IZIT TAT SIMPLE?WAU..U R TOO ADORABLE..WAKE UP MAN...there is NO LOVE IN DIS WORLD..LOVE IS JZ TEMPORARY,,...NO PERMANENT..Y LOVE?stop thinkin of guys lahh....stop thinkin of the person whom i crushed on....FINISHED!THEY dun even hv feelings towards me..wat for wasting my damn precious time thinkin of dem...they r useless...meaningless lahh..y not i play my own role.....study lahh....CAREENA U HAV TO STUDY TO GAIN WAT U WAN...ONLY EDUCATION CAN BRIN U TO GREATER HEIGHTS...I Sms him tot of calling him for movie...he said he nid to accompany his parents for dinner...ok fine..parents more important ..i understand...but pls dun tell me u will b by their side 4 the whole day rite?cant u jz cum out 4 a while?WATEVA LAHH...JZ XXXX lahh.....y nid to treat me like dis?Y EVERYTIME I TREAT PPL GUD..THEY TREAT ME BAD IN RETURN... YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?FREAK OUT LAHH...i GIF UP WIF ALL THESE STUPID STUFF.........SET ME FREE MANNNN

tired day

finally i got to c dis movie..NIGHT MUSUEM 2...wen i was in the cinema...suddenly he came into my mind...i think dis movie suits him..he might love this movie...hope so anyway none of my business!2day i called his house...he answered e ph,i was totally dumbfounded...jz duno how n wat to react...OH MY GOSH HE ANSWERED E PH..WAT M I GOIN TO DO?M I GOIN TO JZ SHUT DOWN LIKE DIS OR WAT?ok i got an answer i jz shut down e ph without saying a word..im not supposed to do dis i hav done nothin wrong...y i nid to b so scared?i jz wan to chat wif his mum..tats all nothin much..dis is the biggest dumb mistake which i hav made..jz duno y..dun feel like staying at home anymore esp nite time...dis is the time where i loneliness rejuvenated in me....things dont seem to go right....i hate this kind of feelings/......but s i blog..i will feel better....tats all 4 today....

today...

hah duno y today dun feel like msninnnnn...i saw him in msn...y is he there?y cant he jz disappeared?of cz ppl has the right to on9 rite...ya..wateva lahh...2day i passed by the hse which we usually stopped by.....i gave my first kiss to him..ya tat place...tat hse with lights on every nite..hah bright lights...of cz he has already 4gotten our sweet moments...he is now embracing new sweet memories..but me still holding back...my emotional fluctuates..or maybe i can say sumtimes i even my emotions drastically changed....is like the weather...sumtimes it does warm...sumtimes thunder storm....sucks man.,....2day my mum suddenly show me his photos ..the photos which we taken wen i was havin my 18th biday....wau...again i cried...y ahh...yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how many yssss i nid to say WHY?I WAS lookin at the photo...reminiscing the moments we hav been thru...but its all past...but i keep holding it...for wat?i duno....it seems im useless....do u noe how hard to jz let go?everyone is tellin me the same old bloodly thing...tellin me to let go...ya i fully fathom wat they said but it seems in vain...their words din strike me at all.....how many times they nid to tell me?he seems so cold-blooded to me n yet im thinkin of him...he has a gf....he has his loved one..n me?still in the middle of no where...crying....yelling for help....still groaning in pain...but hu noes?me myself noe....ppl noes...but wat can they do?they jz ignore me...bcz its been 1 year plus..im still holding this unrepairable relationship.....im not blind..im not dumb....im normal...y?can anyone tell me why?hhahaah NO ONE...i nid to protect myself...i nid to......i nid security....its me myself can gif myself the guarantee n security,,no one can eva gif me tat anymore...guys sucks,,,,........dating?LOVE?WAT IS LOVE?WAT IS A RELATIONSHIP?dun eva play wif fire....hhaahha..sorry i cant tik it...its painful...its extremely painful....its like ,millions of needles poking at the depth of ur heart...u call for help..u cry at the corner...n still u nid to wipe off ur tears.....stand up n live ur life...sumtimes we r in hard moments...we grumble...we complain.....we jz nid a listener to listen to us...tats all....we dun nid anyone to console us....but cant we jz pour our sadness n problems?OF CZ WE STILL NID TO MOVE ON...DOESNT MEAN WE DID NTH...if u hv a family...u still nid to work hard n support ur family..if u r single..u still nid to work to earn a living..if u r a student u still nid to pick up the book n read after a hard tiring day.....aiyo.....humanbeings humanbeings,,...we are humans,,,...we r not an object...we breathe....we think...we tok....unlike the animals...we r living in the democratic rasional society....we hv the rights to voice out the things we dislike...so wat the use of keepin it?y nid to b so care abt how n wat ppl think?s long s we noe wat we r doin...noe wat we ourselves thinkin...tats more than enuf.......i noe wat m i doin...althou i do think of him everyday....i still nid to further my studies n live life to the fullest man.....play...PLAY TO THE MAX...study...STUDY TO THE MAX...chat...CHAT TO THE MAX...hu cares?s long s u urself is happy....tats all....problems occur...barricading us from speakin the v truth....hahah wats tat..im still searching.......wats in my mind..i can tell u.,... alot....a lot....tats im hvin insomnia in such young age....i hate tat..ya i wan sweet dreams.......aihhhh...wat to aih n wat to haih?jz kip goin....one day u will b able to search the unsearchable things which hidden in ur heart core.....sumthin which u cant think of...sumthin which is beyond ur imagination...sounds abstract but its true.....love is sumthin vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv complex....is not jz words....not jz actions...is the inner feelings tat say.......hard to find lahh..guys seems to b untrustable sumtimes ...same goes to gals.....trust urself n move on wif ur life....its tough but humanbeings seem to b more n more complicated......FRIENDS?HAHAHAHHAHA...friends too sumtimes r untrustable...but i hv bunch of gud buddies in kampar.........wat u hv now....grab hold of it......

BETTER ...

wau...2day such a busy day ....back to kampar ...pack my things..go uni...why on earth emcees nid to compose their own script...haha....me, jason,patricia,n wilson..all of others like cracking our heads to finished up the script...haahah wats the aftermath is we dun hv an idea abt the entire flow of the event..come on....my beloved presidents...we r not genius la wei.....but finally we got the script done....haih....sweat day man....hhahaha,,.....yesterday...i indeed had a great nite wif Anna n Ten....we chat...we laugh....kinda enjoy this kind of wonderful frenship...do hope our frenship wil last 4eva...mis u two.......i miss my mates vvvv much too.....mis my sai lou...Kennie...althou we did hv sum arguments in Kl trip...but still i miss him....i miss LENE,ALEX,ALVIN,JENNY,.....many more...sumtimes althou u r not in a hapi mood. but frenz they r the ones who accompany u thru hard moments.....i noe all of my comrades they care abt me...is jz tat im too heavy headed....they tell me to let go him..they even b my counsellor 4 almost one year more...n still i remain the same....y cant i learn to let go....day by day....they r backin me up..they r my strength....y cant i prove to them....hei guys....IM A NEW ONE...dun worry abt me anymore..im fine....YEE LING challenged me yesterday nite..askin me...can u let go ur ex from now on?wat i answer is i cant gif u a YES..but i will gif u NOD OF HEAD....kam lans.....im ok....i love to b hapi.....but long time din feel the seed of happiness in me anymore.... nid to water it...nurture it....now..its nids to grow...to blossom....i do hope my happiness will grow....n blossom one day.....wau...jz imagine tat day will b a great awesome day for me....tell u wat...sumtimes i do think wat will my future boyfren looks like?a vertically challenged one..or a tall one...fat one.....bamboo type...hhhahahaha...mayb i will single for life....i wont expect any guys to hav the chemistry 2wards me....cz im a horrible gal ..hahaha....talkative lehh...noti lehh....mzny more...if u noe me...u should noe my attitudes....hahhha....hope to go bk kampar s fast s possible...im gona b vvvvvvvvvvvvvv busy in the cumin semester...wau..............i nid to polish up my knowledge,.....augment my level of eng........wat thrill me is im gona hv POLITICAL SCIENCE the next sem....im waiting 4 it.......COME ON POLITICS......GIF ME A HUG man....tats all 4 2day......

im down...

haha...i think these few years will b my dull years...hard to overcome..but i can go thru it..wen i saw their photos..i tot i can really let go but indeed NOPE...my heart really hurts..yesterday morning i msg my ex..i said..if there is fairy godmother ..n she pops out in my dream..i hope she can fulfil my dream..tat one DReam..my heart stops beating my brain dies...do u noe how much i hope to gif up everythin which i have now...wat he replied?he called me to move forward...move on ...i replied sorry..he told me not to say sorry...i should hv apologize to myself...shud make the best out of wat i hv now......dear,,do u noe i do stand up....do u noe i did put my full effort in my finals...i study really hard for it,,,i did discipline myself...i tell myself im gona do well in this finals..after tat im gona go KL n find u...at least can c u ...tats more than enuf....now u r sayin im not movin 4ward...im really disappointed wif his words...now my dreams shattered into pieces...i do hope we can reconcile...but in vain...he is AVAILABLE...this will b the 2nd time seeing him wif his gf......wat can i do?I WAN TO DO MY BEST....ACHIEVE MY GOALS N DREAMS..his words will alwiz in my heart...his words will b strong motivation...dear tx 4 ur golden words..it hurts me but its effective....im down 2day doesnt mean i will down 4eva...i will prove to myself .....prove to u....I CAN DO IT!from now onwards...CAREENA...wont b the same old Careena...I will handle my things...i m 21 mah...as wat u say...im big enuf to think.....to tik k of myself..sure i will...u better too take care ok...muz love ur gf more each day.....bless u guys.....dear i chap lahh...hope everythin goes well in ur carrier...drink more water....if both ur legs feel lethargic,immerse both into warm water..u wil feel better gah....okok!althou u din hear me...but i believe u noe how to tik k of urself.....love u..

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hahah...he is alwiz in my mind...if one day he vanished in my mind..it could b good rite?but he keeps rolling in my mind...he has a girlfriend..gorgeous looking gal..me?hahah..i saw his photo wif the gal...it seems my love for him has to cum to a halt!He is alwiz my dear..ya...reminisced those days,we hold hands together,we hug each other,thou we do have squabbles..I LOVE HIM...now he is no longer mine...he is too far from me..he is even far now..imagine he is holding the gal's hand tightly..nvr let go...i have been struggled for 1 year more...still i cant let go..im truly an absurd one.....mayb i dun fathom the word HURT in me....my heart cries....but my tears r dry..it evaporates....i can grabhold pf my tears..it jz flow.........tears..pains...hurts.......i hv been thru..now im still undergoin the excruciating pain....its a new life?at first i tot he is lying to me...but now i knew it is true...ya true...my ex has a new GALFREN...they have their loving time 2gether...n me?im lost....2 u noe how much i mis his voice?i yearn to c his face...everytime i go pavillion..i will stand at the back of the pillar to jz hav a look at him...time flies...i stood there for 2hours...n i jz tot 20min...oh gosh...can i stand there for few more hours?can i jz say a gudbye to him?can i ask him hows ur day dear?u tired?can i gif u a massage?i cant even get closed to him...all i can do jz to stand there n look at him....hahaha i cried....everytime i step into pavillion...i feel sad...n reluctant.....i reluctant to leave him....dear im sorry wif wat i hv done....i still LOve u vvvv much...i dun deserve any reconciliation...im lost...sumtimes do wonder wat is he doin?chatting wif his gf.....huggin her?his love for me jz faded away....is past....if fairy godmother pops out...i would like her to fulfil my wish...tat is to tell him I LOVE YOU........love comprises diff tastes...sour,bitter,sweet......mine bitter.....hhahahaha bitter.......can sumwan jz listen to me?can sumwan hear me?they r both together......happily eva after.......dear take good of urself k.......i sleep lahh....hug u to lalaland.....